


Icebergs Passing In The Night

by lilithfatale



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Caitlin is having A Time, F/M, Killer Frost finds this all hilarious, OR IS IT, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 10:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14872059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithfatale/pseuds/lilithfatale
Summary: Caitlin has fallen for her best friend and it's making her miserable. Killer Frost isn't helping.





	Icebergs Passing In The Night

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to polish this up and give it some kind of ending before I posted it but that will probably not happen so...have some Killervibe angsty goodness. Thanks to @mosylu for the advice and feedback!
> 
> This is set before Killer Frost and Caitlin became BFFs (which I still don't get, but anyway).
> 
> Enjoy

1.

 

Caitlin couldn’t tell exactly when it happened. It was like a thousand pin-pricks, each one so tiny you didn’t notice it, until suddenly you were bleeding out.

 

It all came to head one day when she walked in on Cisco and Cynthia making out in his lab. They didn’t notice her at first, and even when she deliberately set her bag down they took a while to break apart. Cynthia gave her boyfriend a lascivious smile and Caitlin a curt but friendly nod before she left them to their latest meta problem.

 

All Caitlin registered was Cisco’s glazed eyes and brilliant grin. Her heart constricted in her chest and a single, cold thought surfaced in her mind like an inexorable iceberg: _he will never look at me like that_. She teased him about his lovelorn expression, he smiled sheepishly, and they started chatting as if it was any other day.

 

The iceberg stayed lodged in her chest.

 

In bed that night Caitlin tried to tell herself that it was nothing. Cisco was her best friend and she was just resentful of his happy and fulfilling relationship. She was just lonely, she told herself, snuggling further down into her duvet. It wasn’t Cisco in particular. Not his eyes or his mouth or his hair. Not the way he bickered with Harry or scolded Barry for mistreating his suit or always made her laugh.

 

Not his good kind heart that still believed in her, after everything.

 

Fuuuck.

 

She turned over and buried her face in the pillow. It didn’t help.

 

The next day Caitlin went to work with bags under her eyes and an all-consuming misery itching under her skin. She could feel Killer Frost eyeing Caitlin’s carefully constructed walls with interest, waiting for them to break down.

 

No, Caitlin told Killer Frost, and herself. Not happening.

 

She took a deep breath and continued to look down her microscope.

 

“Caitlin?”

 

She jumped, and turned round in her chair. Cisco was standing at the door of the lab, looking concerned. “You seem a bit off today”, he said. “Are you okay?”

 

Caitlin managed a brief smile and shrugged. “I didn’t sleep that well. I’ll be fine.”

 

She swallowed and braved herself for what should be a harmless question. “How’s Cynthia? Is she coming for drinks with us tomorrow night?”

 

Cisco broke into a huge sheepish grin, and Caitlin died a little.

 

“She’s good. She said she would be busy for the next few days on jobs so she can’t make it.”

 

“Oh. That’s a shame,” Caitlin said. She swivelled back in her chair and went back to examining cell samples.

 

 

 2.

 

“Caitlin?”

 

She looked up at the mention of her name, streaks of ice glittering on her cheeks. “Hey”, Caitlin said, in a small wobbly voice. The step she sat on glinted with frost.

 

Iris carefully sat down beside her. “What’s wrong? You’ve not been this frosty in a while.”

 

Caitlin squeezed her eyes shut – painful with frozen tears – and held her head in misting hands. “I know.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Iris’ voice was warm and gentle. It made Caitlin hate this situation and herself even more. She raised her head but stayed looking down at her feet.

 

“I’m in love with Cisco,” she said bleakly. “I don’t know how it happened but I do and I can’t stop and I keep” – she gestured with one hand and a boulder of ice slammed into the nearest streetlight. The post creaked, and slowly bent to one side.

 

The two women flinched.

 

Caitlin gave a muffled sob and buried her head in her hands again. There was silence, except for the streetlight slowly falling over.

 

Iris blinked, her face momentarily slack, before she looked down at Caitlin and pulled her in for a hug. They sat there for a moment, Caitlin crying painful icy tears over Iris’ coat and Iris not giving a single damn.

 

Finally she spoke, with a decisiveness Caitlin wasn’t expecting.

 

“You need to tell him.”

 

Caitlin broke away and looked at Iris in horror. “NO.”

 

Iris sighed. “Caitlin…”

 

“No. I can’t -”

 

“Hiding it is hurting you. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

 

“He’s with Cynthia! We work together. I can’t -”

 

“I know,” Iris interrupted, firmly. “It’s going to suck. But you need to do it, or you’ll just keep repressing it and you’ll give Killer Frost free rein to do whatever.” She rubbed her hands together. Her breath was starting to mist, and the step was still frosted over.

 

“Whatever happens,” she went on in a gentler tone, “I’ll be here for you, okay? We can drink wine and watch movies and bitch about Cynthia’s perfect hair. Whatever you need.”

 

Caitlin managed a strained smile. “I know you’re right”, she said. “I’m just scared.”

 

Iris hugged her tightly. She knew her friend didn’t admit her emotions easily. This was clearly shaking her to her core.

 

“I believe in you,” Iris said. “You can do this. And…we’ll deal with whatever happens next. Okay?”

 

“Okay.” Caitlin hesitated. “Look, I know you will want to tell Barry, and it’s fine, but - ”

 

“- he won’t say anything,” Iris finished. “On pain of death. I promise.”

 

Caitlin smiled, her eyes more water than ice now. “Thanks.”

 

She slowly stood up. The mist had vanished, and the white in her hair was fading. “I should go.”

 

Iris stood up too. “I can come with you,” she said.

 

“I’ll be fine, promise.” Caitlin scrubbed at her face, relieved to see that the ice on her cheeks had melted. “I’ll tell him soon,” she said decisively. “I just need to sleep and…not think for a while.”

 

Iris nodded, also relieved to see that Caitlin seemed more herself. “Good plan. Let me know if I can do anything.”

 

 

3.

 

Killer Frost looked at the reunited couple with faint disgust. Sure, they had been rescued from almost certain death, but was there any need to be so mushy about it?

 

“You are such a Scrooge,” Cisco said, grinning at his partner. “Let them have their moment.”

 

They waited for the rescued lovers to stop hugging and kissing and whispering. Eventually one of the women turned and thanked them with tears in her eyes. Cisco waved aside the offer of a monetary reward – “are you _serious_ right now?” Killer Frost hissed in indignation – and watched them walk over to the ambulance to be checked out.

 

Killer Frost crossed her arms and pursed her dark lips. “We could have made a couple of grand each,” she muttered. “ _Easily_.”

 

“Such romance in your soul,” Cisco murmured absently, still watching the couple and basking in the warm glow of a day successfully saved. It had gone well, even with Barry busy elsewhere.

 

His companion snorted. “Not me. That’s more Caitlin’s thing.”

 

Cisco hummed in response and then replayed the last sentence. He stopped, and turned to look at her. “What?”

 

Killer Frost rolled her eyes. “I mean, her obvious crush on you. It’s pathetic,” she added, never missing an opportunity to snipe at her roommate.

 

He scoffed. “Yeah yeah, whatever. We’d better head back to the lab…”

 

He opened a breach and turned back to see that Killer Frost was still standing there with her arms crossed, looking at him with an amused smirk.

 

“I spend most of my time in Caitlin’s head,” she pointed out. “I know what she thinks and feels. Ask her if you don’t believe me.”

 

With that parting shot – clearly on purpose, Cisco thought, Frost might not be a killer any more but she loved to stir things up – she leapt through the breach and he had no choice but to follow.

 

 

They landed back in the lab to an audience. Iris was leaning back in a chair at the computers talking to Harry. They looked up as the breach closed. “Good job,” Iris greeted them. Cisco blinked, and nodded, his mind still whirling. He turned to his companion: her hair was darkening to reddish brown and her eyes to the colour of wild honey as Caitlin resurfaced. She blinked and looked at him. “How did it go?”

 

He swallowed and managed a smile. “We kicked meta ass and reunited a happy couple,” he said. “It was awesome.”

 

Cisco held out a hand for a high five and she slapped it, smiling back at him. She had such a great smile, he thought. It wasn’t fair. He shook himself. I have a girlfriend, he told himself sternly. And Killer Frost is just making it up anyway.

 

Still, her words echoed in his head all night. And he wondered.

 

 

 4.

 

Frost was being difficult. Not just in the usual sense – the frozen water pipes, the takeout containers everywhere, the bar crawls that left Caitlin feeling dog tired the next day – but there was a constant niggling in the back of Caitlin’s head, as if her icy alter ego was constantly poking her to get attention. _Tell me_ , Caitlin wrote with frustration on the notepad she had attached to the fridge, _or leave me alone!_

 

With that she shouldered her handbag and left her apartment for STAR Labs, cursing dark matter and the meta roommate it had stuck her with.

 

Iris looked up from her screen as Caitlin entered the cortex. Her eyes widened with concern. “Are you okay? You look…”

 

“I’m just tired,” the doctor said, brusquely. “Frost probably went out drinking again. Or otherwise ruining my life.”

 

She hadn’t meant to be quite so honest and Iris looked a little taken aback. Caitlin inhaled deeply and let out a long, slow, shaky breath, watching miserably as the temperature dropped and it turned to steam. “I just wish she would leave me alone,” she whispered. “It’s hard enough as it is, you know?”

 

Iris stood up. “Do you want a hug?”

 

They shared a hug in the middle of the cortex, Caitlin embracing Iris’ warmth, feeling the fear and the worry and the ice melt away. Eventually she drew back. “Thanks,” she said with a brief but genuine smile. “I feel better now.”

 

“So have you played God of War yet?”

 

Caitlin stiffened and Iris looked at her with concern.

 

“Dude, I’ve been busy. You know…saving the city?”

 

“You’re so full of yourself. Anyway, you need to come over and play it some time. The graphics are uh-may-zing. Trust me.”

 

Cisco and Barry walked into the cortex just in time to see Caitlin disappear into the lab, the door swinging shut behind her.

 

“Er…hi…Caitlin.” Barry turned to his wife. “Is she okay?”

 

Iris went and sat at her screens. “She’s fine, just didn’t sleep well.”

 

Cisco watched the lab door close with a strange look on his face.

 

 

 


End file.
